Final Fantasy VII Remake Does Exist

Originally Posted by Onegai:

It’s just nothing like you were expecting. First of all, it’s not for PS3, Xbox360 or PC. Second of all, it will not feature new HD field and battle graphics nor re-rendered FMVs in the style of Advent Children. Thirdly, this remake has been done without Square-Enix’s consent. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you:

Title screen

…on the Famicom/NES! Here is the supposed cartridge and it’s a whopping 2MB in size which is fsucking gigantic for a single NES game considering Final Fantasy was around 260kb and Final Fantasy III was around 520kb.

Final Fantasy VII (Advent Children??)

I personally couldn’t actually believe it so I grabbed myself a rom dump and played it (Btw if you do intend on playing it there is an Engrish version but I just grabbed the first one I could. Secondly, if you wanna play it, you’ll need an emulator that supports mapper 163 like Nestopia). To my shock/horror.amazement my scepticism was blown out the window leaving me trembling in front of my PC and uttering “My God, it’s true…” repeatedly.

The game starts off sort off like its Playstation counterpart in that there’s a scene in the beginning where cloud and Barret get off a train on their way to destroy the reactor.

Opening Scene: Bombing Mission...

Cloud must then make his way inside the reactor. On his way there, he is attacked by some soldiers barring his path…

Cloud battling it out fiercely with a guard

… Etc, etc, etc. I haven’t played the game much further than after blowing up the reactor (nor do I intend on doing so any time soon) but I’m pretty sure that it’s probably going to stay fairly accurate with the basics of FFVII except for all the FAIL and don’t worry, I WILL be addressing that now.

Now if you’re a seasoned Final Fantasy gamer like myself, you will probably have already recognised many of the graphics in this game from Final Fantasy I – III on the NES. If you’re not, well now you know. The creators have ripped most of the graphics from the series’ first three releases (and prolly some other games too). As for the rest, they’ve cooked them using the ripped graphics as stencils.

Cloud and Barret fight to break through two giant worms during the Bombing Mission? Not quite FFVII

I think they did make the head and face of the Barret battle sprite themselves, after all, it does stink of fail. Yes, that pumpkin-headed thing with fish-like cheeks is supposed to be our much-loved and foul-mouthed, pissed-off friend, Barret (Or rather it’s supposed to be). Here is a snap from FFII on the NES:

A snap from the original Final Fantasy II on NES.

Compare this with the one taken from the faux FFVII. As you can see, Cloud is the top character with nothing more than a colour change. Barret is the body of the bottom character with the boots of the character just above him and a hideous head.

A snap from Final Fantasy III on NES. Notice the evironment.

Now let’s talk environments. Above is a snap from FFIII on NES. Take a look a set of snaps from the FFVII NES game below.

This is SUPPOSED to be the first conversation between Biggs, Wedge, Cloud and Jessie.

You’ve got to be kidding if you tell me that those tiles aren’t ripped. Oh sure they re-coloured them but ripping tiles is ripping tiles and it’s goddamn copyright infringement (Or it should be but we’ll get to that).

This is an FFVII NES version of the inside of a Makou Reactor

The music isn’t much better either. So far I’ve heard a very horrific rendition of the FFVII title music (actually there’s a few that used this back in the day) along with a terrible remix of the FFII town music. The battle music is a sort of remix of FFII’s and, to make things worse, the fanfare is even crappy and the post-fanfare music (what you hear when it tells you how much experience points you gained) is a failed attempt at recreating FFVII’s (although if you listen to it carefully, it bears a vague resemblance to FFVIII’s – imagine that).

So what made this all possible? It’s the same thing that made the release of so many “pirate cartridges” (cartridges that contained loads of games, many of them graphic hacks of their originals usually bearing alternative names) possible back in the days of NES supremecy. China has what one could deem “liberal copyright laws” and any games produced in China fell/fall under the protection of these “liberal copyright laws”. So whenever Japan produced a hit seller, a group of copyright thieves would get together and create a re-release of said game that was often placed on one of those “1000 in 1” cartridges that contained about ten different hacks of the same game.

Yes, that's Cloud's status window. Although that's not a bad avatar considering the limitations of the NES.

That said, you’ve got to admire the creators of this game nonetheless. I mean apart from sheer fsucking audacity, it must have taken one hell of a lot of work (except for the graphics since most of them are ripped). Apparently the game sticks to the plotline of the original FFVII almost perfectly (or so I’m told – maybe I should play through it lol) and the game was pretty long and rather large for its time. That couldn’t have been easy to put together on a NES. Not to mention all that coding. FFVII is a very complicated game and although a lot has been simplified (like the materia system), it’s still not a task I’d want to take on.

Whether you want to see this as outright heresy and copyright infringement or simply an homage to the Playstation predecessor is up to you. I mean in a really geeky kind of way it is sort of cool. Personally though, as a hardcore FFVII fan, I have but one thing to say about this remake: NO.



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